Thursday, August 27, 2009

You have some good qualities... your diet needs improvement...

So, after weighing the option of either giving my marriage another go, dying sad and lonely or asking for pointers on what the dating scene is like nowadays, I finally decided to ask a platonic guy friend what my chances would be out in the world among the male species.

"So what do you think? Am I hot or a leper?"
"You've got some good qualities...your diet needs improvement."
"I have to go now. Thanks for the 'fat chat.'"
"Well, you have a pretty face and great skin. You just need to trim up your stomach, ass and those thighs."

I have stopped wondering why he will be a perpetual bachelor.


  1. OK, step one. Anyone who reminds you of platonic guy friend should be avoided.

    I can't tell you not to go back to your husband, but if the guy walked out on you and the kids ESPECIALLY WHILE YOU ARE EXPECTING he doesn't deserve you.

    He deserves a good beating.

    Whatever you do, take your time and always remember you are better than you think you are.

  2. Ouch, that one stung a little. And believe me: some guys appreciate the jiggly bits. Some do, indeed. Thank f'n god.

    I think you should play by yourself for a while before hitting the dating world (says the girl who was dating before her divorce was finalized. Or even started-ized, for that matter.)

  3. Oh- I'm not dating. Just curious as to who the hell would want this hot mess. I'm checking into monasteries as we speak.

  4. I can definitely testify that some guys don't mind "meat on the bones". :-) Also - totally agree with "Cat"...was playing before my divorce was final, but didn't really connect with anyone until I'd had some time alone to work on me.

    Try to take care of you.:-)

  5. I DO agree you need time to yourself...but I will say, I personally think you're hot and I don't care if you're jiggly in spots or not. Who wants a bag of bones?

    Anyway, trust me when I tell you it gets better. It sucks, especially in the state he left you...but it will get better and you're better off without the assmunch. JMO!


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